NordenBladet – … Alright, today is already June, but as you can see the post from March is still in progress. I wrote most of the post already in March, so now I will add a bit and conclude the post. There has been so much going on in the meantime…
I married the man of my dreams, we had a wonderful wedding party with the closest people, we went for a long honeymoon in Spain, I have created a lot of beautiful handicrafts, I have built an IT-platform, etc… but about all this after the current post of March.
Like always in life, there have been good as well as sad events. March was very, very sad for me and I could not function properly for a long time.
Wednesday, 8th of March (Women’s Day) will from now on always remind me of Pandu’s passing away. On March 8th 2023 we buried him at the age of eight in the ground of our home garden, our much beloved cat Pandu the Cat. I remember it was snowy and chilly and I was heartbroken. Estella Elisheva and Allan dug the grave in the snowfall, while I was holding Pandu who had been wrapped in towels, and Ivanka was staring at us while holding the white roses in her lap. I cried for three weeks every day, I am also crying now as I write this. I loved Pandu a lot.
Pandu’s death is my fault.
That hurts the most. Guilt is a very bad feeling.
On Thursday Pandu came inside and while eating (or rather while sniffing the food) pooped a few stiff droppings, not controlling his body. I got mad, what does that mean, the cat poops inside the house, and I sent him outside. For Friday Allan had made a vet’s appointment but I said: Ahh, you must be kidding me, leave it, cats are tough, cats have all kinds of problems all the time, let us wait a few days. He also threw up once but again I had a prompt reply: the cat is used to eating better food, and cannot digest mice anymore… The cat brought both of us, me and Allan, a mouse as a present at night about a week before passing away. He finally ate Allan’s mouse, after we had omitted praising him after he meowed for a while, but he threw up the mouse right there next to the bed. The next day we praised him for the mouse that he had brought me at night… for some reason I knew that he would once again return with a mouse. It remains a mystery how he managed to find a mouse for two consecutive nights from inside the HOUSE?
Pandu was a wonderfully friendly and good cat! Very very sweet cat! I feel like a traitor not taking him to the vet. It would make me feel better to suffer some kind of punishment for that, but all this guilt and other talk and regrets do not unfortunately change anything. Cats are predators and very good pretenders, they don’t show their weakness and illness, they fool you. Today I can only genuinely regret not regularly taking my cat to the vet.
Darling Pandu, please forgive me! I don’t wish to teach anybody, but from my sad experience I recommend with all my heart, take your pet to the vet every now and then even if everything seems to be ok – better safe than sorry, better check the health and notice the problems at the right time!
Pandu, you are always in our hearts!!!