NordenBladet – Do you know how old you get? You see, I never know how old I am and how old I am getting… When I think about it or when someone asks me that, I will subtract my year of birth from the current year… Of course I know generally, if it’s „this age” or „that age”.. but WHICH one then, tht I will always need to calculate… Is that normal?
Until some point I desired to be older than I really was (like all of us do). I also see the same tendency in my children. For example, when I tell Ivanka, „Oh my little chickling” then she gets annoyed.. She says she is no chickling, she’d rather be a hen since the hen is older and the chickling is just a baby. 
hahaaa..
There was a time when I thought that before this or that age I won’t be taken seriously.. if only I could be 26 or 28, etc. Even before that I thought that in order to become successful it only takes to study well and make an effort, or take the other way and find a rich husband. Neither answer is right. I lacked self confidence and I thought that a 19-year-old talking about her ideas will not be taken seriously. And I wasn’t taken seriously because I destroyed a large part of my creativity with my wrong beliefs and even when I had a good idea I lacked knowledge how to realize that idea, whom to consult, how to act. Nowadays the youths are so much more advanced compared to my younger self – the society knows that already a 20+ youth can become the leader of a unicorn, playing with power and money.
I have a bit more than a month until my next birthday and I thought I would write down what I have achieved and what I would recommend for the 19-year-old Helena-Reet.
What have I achieved by today and what I wish today that I had known when I was younger?
1. I have two wonderful daughters, 16-year-old Estella Elisheva and 14-year-old Ivanka Shoshana. Though I am quite fed up with the children (pardon!), their wishes, their hobby classes, caring for them, waking up early and chauffeuring them around, still they are so amazing, I love them very much and until now they are the greatest achievement of my life!!!
2. I can look back to nearly 20 years of partnership with the father of my children with whom we separated two and a half years ago and which gave me a super useful lesson:
a) no relationship, even the one that started in the most beautiful way, will last if you do not care for it with full awareness and don’t put your reciprocal attention and love in it.
b) even the biggest of love and trust can end in an ugly way and unexpectedly. The person who you believed to be the one who „sleeps the sleep of death with you some day” can pull everything down and no verbal agreements, thoughts, decisions, etc are not valid anymore. A love that has been hurt (that has often also turned into convenient habit) can be very sensitive and even spiteful.
c) your relationship (with literally anyone) is exactly as good as good, caring and mindful YOU ARE. If only people knew that (and understood it profoundly), then all relationships would be extremely beautiful and happy!
3. If for some reason you have gone through a divorce…….then still do not stop believing in TRUE LOVE. Money is very important but love and kin spirit is even more important!
Once you have found the kin spirit – then KEEP, HONOUR, CONFORM and LOVE! ? (Allan and Helena-Reet, 2022)
4. If only young women (girls) would understand how much more they put in the relationship as compared to the (old) men that they are chasing. It’s like a penny compared to a million. How fragile and pure their soul is and HOW different the memories and background they come from, it will never beat in the same rhythm with their partner.. There are always exceptions, but it’s more safe and statistically more useful and more reasonable to spend the youth loving, not loving money. There are no free meals, there are transactions to which both sides agree to but which can truly be understood only by the older partner.
5. For over two years I have been contemplating, thinking about one question that I once posed to Allan as a joke:
„Woud you choose me over 10 billion euros?”, „Woud I choose you over 10 billion euros?” … Think about it, profoundly and seriously..which would you choose..honestly? I once found one, then another answer (mostly I tended to choose the money).. but today I know precisely – I would choose You! I couldn’t sit on all of the world’s money without You.. without love, without a friend, a kin spirit. Love is worth it all – risk, loss, victory, and at least I believe that it would be better to suffer with a loved one than sit alone on a throne with a stripped soul, in solitude.
Allan, I love you UNCONDITIONALLY, TRULY, PASSIONATELY, MINDLESSLY and WILDLY, and Margus, I love You just the same, today a bit differently, but always and forever. ❤ ❤ ❤
6. Once more I am only talking about my own experience.. but I believe that the so-called „old pattern” works well and the woman is happy when she can be feminine. A feminine woman will need a masculine man, and the man is masculine only when the woman is gentle and feminine. It’s a circle and you cannot put your finger on the starting point. But the starting point is really simple… YOU are the starting point! You can always start with yourself. People will always treat you the way you let them treat you! You always get what you think you deserve! I love it when the man is wearing the pants and dominates.
7. …which doesn’t mean that I couldn’t be a powerful and active woman. I am INDEPENDENT.. I have a large garden and house (without a bank loan!), I completely lack any bank loans (if you don’t count daily trading and the temporary amplifications), I have many businesses and working brands, I have a 5-lingual media business that caters tens of thousands of Scandinavians daily, I have investments in several Scandinavian and American entreprises, I have hobbies (I paint and try to write books). And on top of it – I know that ME, ME MYSELF am the maker of my own luck! Only me.. and everything else is great luck, great blessing, dividends and life’s bonuses.
I never want to be alone, but I am not afraid of being alone and I am not bored while being alone. I like to plan the future with my loved one, it would rock to become very successful together and conquer the world together, but I know that my current achievements are such that they have earned me honour and success.
8. It is always worth investing in health and studies.
9. It is not necessary to be afraid of setbacks and failures.. if you don’t have them then possibly you have never risen and achieved.
10. Not everything is perfect, need not be perfect and cannot be perfect. Share your dreams also „halfway ther” and „on the way”. Myself for example I have omitted sharing several things in my blog since I have thought I’d wait until things are „ready”. The majority of things will never be ready, they DEVELOP, GROW, TAKE SHAPE.
11. And to end it with.. YES, also when you are 40+ you somehow have to wait until your parents pass away so that you can begin living eventually. Agree with that or start living! (I agree with it or I’d choose a different opening picture….hahaa ? lol
Less worrying!
Stay cool!
Hugs!
Do read also my previous blog posts (all posts are available in four languages – Estonian, Finnish, Swedish and English!)
Recent blog posts:
Helena-Reet: STOCK EXCHANGE enterprises’ collapse & my THREE golden rules of day trading + a bit of random summertime talk 🙂
Helena-Reet: In Tartu, Saadjärve, Räpina and Viljandi
Helena-Reet: Allan’s mother visiting + Midsummer with parents
Helena-Reet: Estella Elisheva’s graduation from Tallinn Jewish School’s 9th grade + GALLERY!
Helena-Reet: Enjoying life has become more and more important to me + a few pictures from children’s birthdays and a tiny gardening blog!
Helena-Reet: Ivanka’s 14th birthday, Love Day, Ardo’s birthday and LOTS OF GARDENING TALK and PHOTOS!
Helena-Reet: Two years with Allan! + Estella’s admission to MUBA, performing with Georg Ots Symphony Orchestra and 16th birthday!
Helena-Reet: Summary of March and April
Helena-Reet: My magical 22.02.2022 + BEAR MARKET AT STOCK EXCHANGE, NEW PAINTING, NEW RECIPE!
Helena-Reet: Airobot IPO, Stockfanatt, cyber attack, comedy show Jokker, Eesti laul 2022, NEW PAINTING and a lot more interesting!