Helena-Reet: We have to praise ourselves and take time to be glad about what we have achieved
NordenBladet – I like to praise myself and I also do praise myself, even on a daily basis. I do this as alone time. I acknowledge myself for the achievements that make me happy, I feel joy about several things (my achievements, fulfillment of goals, my children’s achievements, but also just the nearby presence of animals and birds, and the aspects of a home are a source of joy for me).
I need praise and since usually nobody lauds me but my children then I am left to praise my own self. Iccccc.. Around me I find more and more things to be happy about and I must admit that by and large I have reached inner peace and joy. There is no use in lingering on to hear praise from others, it is up to ourselves to be happy and praise ourselves for the smaller and the greater achievements! This sounds much like the cover of a self help book, but I can assure you that it does have the effect of meditation. The notion “praise” itself is perhaps slightly misleading, rather the wording “value yourself and give worth to what is accomplished” suits best.
For example in the morning I greet the little birds that are abundant in our garden. They sing and chirp so loud to have me react to their existence. And I am not mean to ignore them. I went outside and talked to them, were long awaiting for them to return from the South. To welcome them, I even poured a handful of seeds around in the garden. As I love the nature then I was extra happy to find in Juhan’s garden shop eight two-meter linden tree plants that I now have already planted in my own garden a week ago (for years and years there have been no linden trees in the garden shops, so now the plants really made me glad!). I already have five large linden trees, but one can never have too many of the linden trees! Linden trees are good for the bees and they are surely a source of joy for me around the year when I drink linden tree blossom tea with honey and in gratitude think back to having the trees.
But now back to achievements. While tuning the humour volume button a bit lower then I actually believe that one has to praise oneself, has to recognize and value one’s achievements. We make plans with shorter and longer perspectives, compile various tables, do calculations, predict success and try to attain it, set goals and overcome obstacles. But what do we do once we have achieved something that still a year or two ago seemed an unattainable dream to us? we do nothing.. We already make room for new and even bolder dreams, we are already beforehand nervous and anxious about completing what we have planned to achieve, instead of taking the time to be thankful to ourselves and others and to take time to enjoy the ends we have already achieved.
I altered the tactics a while ago. I began giving worth to my own achievements, and enjoying them and celebrating them. Achievements are to be enjoyed, you must let the feeling of happiness get to you. Why not allow yourself to have some attention, some happiness, some sense of importance? It is not others that need to bring the happiness to you, happiness is rather a mental state that you must attain.
All my life I have been raised in the spirit: be modest; it is not nice to praise yourself; avoid bringing shame; first achieve something and only then let others know, etc.
I now argue for the opposite:
a) do things and be brave;
b) praise yourself (I hereby do not mean showing off), because all kinds of positivity brings along more positivity in your life and positively minded people do more and achieve more than the whining and complaining folks;
c) also the attitude that first you must do and then you can talk about it does not always hold true. You must enjoy the entire process and be proud about it, not only once you’ve attained the final target. The road to the target is also important and beautiful. Our society tells us to work hard and always worry and never be glad. However, I fid that we must find joy in living, enjoy every moment!
One great thing that I have learned is, don’t wait for others to praise you, to give their opinion, to give their approval. Be the active agent! Decide for yourself! And finally, praise yourself and take time to enjoy what you have achieved.
I am awesome! 🙂
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